With the times as they are, I have been getting so many questions from friends about homeschooling. Things are very uncertain for public schools, and I don't blame parents in the least for looking at all of their options. 

First of all, I have to tell all you parents out there, you are all my heroes. When your kids were sent home for quarantine in March, you went into crisis schooling... that is way different than homeschooling. You had to follow a different curriculum for every teacher your kid(s) had. You had check-ins for every teacher your kid(s) had. You were at the mercy of every teachers' schedule. You sifted through 100's of emails and/or letters that were probably giving you inconsistent information and advice. All while dealing with the uncertainties of your own jobs, finances, and health! 

You did it! You made it through the end of the 2019-20 school year, and you deserve applause for that!

Unfortunately, for the schools around me anyway, life is not going back to normal as we have known it. Most parents are now trying to decided if they want their kids to be in school face to face (mask to mask) a couple days a week, go totally virtual again dealing with all the things mentioned above, or to fully withdraw from the school and commit to homeschooling until we are safe from COVID-19. Remember, homeschooling is never a permanent decision; you can re-enroll back into public school anytime. I found that very comforting when we were deciding whether or not to do it.

I have to tell you that I am NOT a very experienced homeschooling mom. My oldest is just starting 4th grade. So, what I share is mostly appropriate for elementary age kids. 

I only have two kiddos to school without any toddlers or babies in tote. I am blessed that my husband's income is enough for me to work free lance as much or as little as I want. I have it incredibly easy. 

My circumstances are also unique in that my oldest is dyslexic (that's a post for another time) and my youngest would probably be considered gifted and talented. In many "academic" areas they are doing the same level of work. So, I use one curriculum for both and adjust according to their age and abilities. 

So, knowing all of that, I'll share with you some things about getting started with homeschooling, some of the things we do, and some of my favorite resources in a series of posts.

First off, you'll have to find out homeschooling laws for your state; every state is different. 

Here in WI you need to file a PI-1206 form. It's a very simple, online form that you'll need to file every year for every child that you homeschool from ages 6-18. 

In WI a simple record of attendance is required, and you need to provide 875 hours of instruction which sounds completely overwhelming. But I guarantee that when you assess all of the learning that takes place in the daily activities of life, it adds up to WAY more. 

Trip to the store- give them some price comparison math! Trip to the bank- let them count the cash! Working in the garden- science! Baking and cooking- measuring/math skills plus home and life skills! Trip to the apple orchard, zoo, or museum = field trip : ) <----- public schools do field trips all. the. time. When you do projects around the house, make sure your kids are there to help. My hubby is SO good at including the kids in building and repair projects. 

There are plenty of times when I have to check myself, because it would often be so much easier to just do it all myself. Sure, it would go faster. Sure, it would be less messy, but I remind myself that I only have so much time to do this stuff WITH them. In the blink of an eye I will be doing all this stuff myself and I will miss the extra time and messes!

Once you figure out what your state requirements are, you'll want to consider what type of homeschooling you feel would be a good fit for your family. 

Some of the most popular/well known styles of homeschooling are: traditional, classical conversations, Charlotte Mason, Montessori, Waldorf, and Unschooling. There are more as well, and of course, you can always use a combination of styles! I'm not going to cover them all. Just know you'll need to take some time to research them to figure out what you'd like to try. One main reason I love homeschooling is that you can CHANGE your style anytime! 

We do a combination of traditional and unschooling. So, in other words, we use set curriculum for some main subjects, but also allow lots of time for "interest led" learning. I try to have a day every couple weeks that is unplanned and I simply ask my kids what they want to learn about today. Most of the time, the interest led learning happens when questions come up during our time using curriculum. We make room for lots of tangents. 

Moving Beyond the Page is our current choice of curriculum for literature, English, science, and social studies. They also have math and spelling units which we don't use. I LOVE literature based learning which is why I chose this brand. I really like how they break down the concepts and units. I appreciate their scope and sequence. They have plenty of hands on activities that cater to all types of learning styles. I don't do every activity. Honestly, I mostly use this curriculum as a guide. I often find my own activities to do (thank you Pinterest!) and when we find something the kids are really interested in, we welcome tangents and extra activities on that. BUT, on days when I don't have drive or energy to find my own things to do (which happens to every homeschooling parent!), I love that I can default to the provided worksheets and activities. 

If your child is just learning to read, you'll have to get a separate reading curriculum. We used the book Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons along with the Usborne Very First Reading Box Set. I loved the script and the coding of TYCTR. "Easy" is definitely a relative term. It took my dyslexic child a really. long. time. to get through the book. We had a big celebration when she completed it. My second child... didn't even finish it. I think he made it to lesson 78 and he was reading chapter books on his own. 

From the beginning, I knew that my oldest would need something very visual and tactile for learning math. We did a lot of Montessori math activities in her first years of schooling. Then, we started Math-U-See. The number blocks, which are used in plenty of curricula, are an important visual for the kids. There is video instruction for every unit, which is what I need for the subject I feel the least confident about teaching. I love that Math-U-see is very straight forward. Though I understand and appreciate all of the "new" and different ways of teaching math, my dyslexic child (who struggles with remembering sequences) gets very overwhelmed when presented with so many different steps and variations of doing something. She does best with a set, straight forward method and then plenty of repetition to set in the order of steps. 

For spelling and grammer, we use the Orton-Gillingham method which is well known as an effective way to teach dyslexic students. I highly recommend Logic of  English which uses OG techniques. We started the LOE essentials and eventually we will get back to it. But this year, we are going back to the basics of OG. I was failing at teaching spelling, and spelling is my daughter's BIGGEST struggle. This, though, is one of the main reasons we chose homeschooling, the ability to take ample time to address struggles.

Curriculum (or no curriculum) is such an individualized choice. Every kid learns differently. Every parent has different comfort levels of teaching. What works for one family isn't necessarily going to work for another. For instance, take my bestie. We both found success with Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons. She is the person that introduced me to Logic of English, which I think will be good for us in the future, but not right now. I introduced her to Moving Beyond the Page, which she isn't jiving with. She doesn't have the time to find alternate activities and doesn't find the provided activities motivating. So, she is looking for something different. I know a couple of families that do classical conversations and love it, but tuition can be costly for some families. There are benefits and drawbacks to all styles of homeschooling and curriculum.

Curriculum is a trial and error type of commitment. But, you know what? When I taught in a public school, they switched curriculum and methods of teaching several times! When our students were scoring lower on reading standardized tests, the whole district adopted a new way of teaching reading. So, don't feel discouraged if you don't find the perfect curriculum right away. 

If you do choose a curriculum, usually there will be at least a couple of Facebook groups centering on the use of that curriculum. I find those groups to be a treasure trove of ideas for alternate activities, extended learning, and advice. Those groups are usually great for buying and selling used curriculum books too. Curriculum can definitely get expensive! I buy as much used on FB groups and Ebay as I possibly can. 

I want to encourage those of you considering homeschooling during this weird time in our world. I have a feeling that separating from the expectations of multiple teachers will be much less stressful than educating your kids yourself. 

Literally, if you start the day with "what questions do you want to answer today?" Or, "what do you want to learn about today?" you can successfully educate your kids. For example:

Kids: I wanna learn about FOSSILS!

Me: Okay, tell me what you already know about fossils (proceed to discuss or write what they know)

       What questions do you have about fossils? (proceed to say or write down questions)

* Look up information on fossils via the internet to answer those questions. Find printed information and have them read aloud. Also watch some videos. Check out a book or two from the library for them to browse throughout the week (there are lots of digital books available if your library is closed). 

* We like "taking notes" using a web diagram.

* When you find or hear locations in articles, books, or movies, be sure to find them on a map or globe.

Kids: I wanna be a paleontologist!

Me: Cool! What can we do to be like a paleontologist?

Kids: DIG UP BONES!

Me: Lol. Right. We might not find bones, but we can go dig : ) 

* Let them play and dig somewhere and record what they find. If they don't find anything... who cares!?Paleontologists don't find something on every dig.

* This inevitably leads to dinosaurs. We happen to have a ton of dinosaur toys. We could match the toys to our dinosaur species book.We could create an environment for the toys. Discuss the terms, herbivore and carnivore. Name currently living animals that fit into each category.

Me: Let's pretend you are a paleontologist or an archaeologist. Write a journal entry describing today's dig. Draw what you found and describe it.

Other possibilities:

* You could have a discussion of what kind of artifacts or fossils will be found millions of years from now.

* You could make a time line of history

* You could make some type of treat to represent a fossil (like the fossil cookies).

* You could figure out the differences of ages of things. 

TA-DA!

Learning.

Your kids are curious creatures. Curiosity is the basis for learning.

You can do it! I'm not saying it's going to be sunshine and rainbows everyday, but freedom to explore interests, freedom to concentrate on specific gifts and struggles, and freedom from someone else's schedule is worth it. 

What questions or worries do you have about potentially homeschooling? Let me know in the comments.

Creature of Comfort -- An Ode to My Bed

My bed is my sanctuary.

I know everyone needs sleep and, therefore, pretty much everyone looks forward to laying down on a comfy bed for a peaceful slumber. 

But if you asked someone, "what is your happy place?" Chances are they'd mention tropical islands, beaches, gardens, with friends or family, etc.

My happy place is my bed.

I'm not particularly proud of it, but I'm coming to terms with it.

It's my place to think and dream. It's my place to escape. It's a place of rest and recovery.

It's the place where I feel the least amount of anxiety. 

If I am feeling anxious, I guarantee if I can lay down in my bed, it will dissipate very soon. 

If I am in the midst of panic and unable to physically get to my bed, my bed is what I visualize and it helps me to sit in my feelings/symptoms and "float."

The reprieve from anxiety is why I am quick to go to bed at night and slow to leave it in the morning. It is my most reliable coping mechanism. It's been there since the beginning.

How about you? What is your happy place? Tell me in the comments : ) 

Reflections on our First Year of Home School and My Ultimate Favorite Resource

So, we have wrapped up a year of home school 'round here. We are taking the first half of July off and will then start "first grade." I put first grade in quotes because I'm honestly not sure how to classify her and I don't want to classify her.

Parents all know how fast we can fall into the comparison game with our kids. I am not gonna lie, I had more than a few "freak out" moments this year when I noticed what a couple of other Kindergarten age kids were doing that Gwenyth is not yet doing.

BUT, then I reign myself in and remember that I very purposefully followed a more (what Eau Claire, WI public schools would call) 4K pace. 

The curriculum that we will begin in July, Moving Beyond the Page, doesn't go by grade level but by age. So, Gwenyth will be doing the age 5-7 curriculum.

This past year, I did not use a purchased curriculum. I did all the planning and prep. One resource that I used was What your Kindergartener Needs to Know. It was a great guide for planning activities which I found mostly on Pinterest. There is an UNBELIEVABLE amount of ideas to be found on the internet. It can actually be overwhelming!

At first, I loved planning but, as the year progressed, the overwhelm of choices was taxing me. I also realized I wasn't doing the greatest job of making sure to "review" skills. So, I am looking forward to the focus of MBTP having a day to day plan set for me with freedom to augment with creative ideas that I find.

Our schedule was/is very loose. Actual instruction took place all different times of the day depending on my husband's and my schedule. I try to make a list of the days activities with the kids while we eat breakfast. It's usually as simple as: eat, play, school lessons, eat, music lessons, play, eat, pick up, watch, read aloud, bed.

Play is the most important part of our day and, honestly, there were days that we skipped formal lessons because the kids were playing so well. I found school was NEVER a good interruption to creative, fun play. Meaning it brought on a holy terror fit. On the other hand, if the kids finally had enough of each other and needed space, school became a GREAT interruption to arguing and wining.

Although most lessons incorporated multiple subjects, Mondays were typically focused on letters and literature, Tuesdays on numbers and math, and Thursdays on science. Fridays were by far our favorite days. I want to share my ultimate favorite resource here.

Each map is filled with amazing illustrations of everything including wild life and land forms to famous people that the country is known for. The kids would choose a country and point to a picture of something they would like to learn more about. Then, we would research it together. We have spent HOURS together learning about all kinds of things. 

We are currently in the middle of Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons. It is definitely NOT Gwenyth's favorite time of day, but it IS clearly working. She is making very good progress with her reading. We will continue through this as we begin MBTP. 

Did we have hard days? Yes.

Did we have days I questioned my decision to home school? Yes.

But mostly, we had good days. I feel a whole new level of relationship with Gwenyth which I love. 

It is such a privilege to witness light bulb moments and her growth physically, emotionally, and intellectually so intimately.

Other Me's -- My dad's caregiver experience with Lewy Body Dementia

Today marks two years since my mother's passing, and I've shared a little about her battle with Lewy Body Dementia. Well, my dad just published a book about his care giving experience. 

It was the most difficult read of my life.

It was also the most beautiful love story I've ever read.

If you are fascinated by the brain and/or psychology, you should read this. If you work with or are interested in working with dementia patients, you should read this book. If you are a care giver for anyone with dementia, you need to read this book.

It's an eye opening experience to read about. I'm sure many will read it and relate, feeling not so alone anymore. 

Here is the synopsis:

Other Me's is a detailed, personal account of how one man and his family dealt with the effects of Lewy Body Dementia with Parkinson's Disease during the last two years of his wife Diane's life. Using reflective daily journals and memory care facility notes, Jim Adams chronicles the progression of Diane's physical and mental symptoms, including Capgras Syndrome, which caused Diane to believe there were multiple versions of her husband of 52 years including several malevolent imposters.

You can get a physical copy here.
You can get the Kindle version here.

Coping with Anxiety -- Your Circle of Control

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There is one major theme when it comes to the anxiety issues in my life: CONTROL

or... lack of it. 

Whenever my symptoms arise (nausea, stomach pain, shaking, shallow breathing, rapid heart rate, etc.), the lack of control I feel is terrifying, which only causes the symptoms to get worse. It's a vicious cycle. Very quickly my body becomes sensitized, and basically I feel anxiety over my anxiety and the lack of control over my symptoms.

I have learned that when I feel symptoms, I try to control them. I try so very hard, always to no avail, to make them go away. I fight them with all my might, which actually only makes things worse. 

I can not tell you what a difference it has made in my life to just give into the feelings of anxiety. If you have been on this blog before, you know that I love Dr. Claire Weekes. Please read her book. It will explain more in depth what I mean. 

When I feel anxiety and the symptoms that come along with it, most of the time it's about something over which I have no control. 

Loved ones, getting sick

My husband's work/job

Choices that other people make in their lives (like addictions or even choices about money and relationships)

Tragedy around the nation/world

These are just a few examples.

I want to fix things. I want to make choices for people. I want to right wrongs, and because I can't (or really shouldn't) I feel anxious. 

In reality, I just need to let that sh*t go. (Insert Frozen sound track here.)

A friend of mine introduced me to Susan Goss awhile back. She came to our church and spoke about anxiety. When she gave her "circle talk," a big light bulb went off for me. 

I am a very visual learner, and it really took seeing it mapped out in this way for me to "get it." 

If you don't watch, here is the main idea of the circle talk:

Here I've added a just a few things of my own:

I think it's pretty self explanatory, right?

It's a daily process of letting go.

Daily, when I feel myself getting anxious, I ask myself whether or not this "thing" is in my control. Most often it is "not in my circle."

"Not in my circle" has become sort of a catch phrase among my friends, because I have shared this strategy with all of them and now, I hope it will help you!

What are things you know are not "in your circle" but still want to control? Share in the comments!

Exercise... when You are Anxious About Exercise

NOTE: I am definitely NOT a doctor. These are personal experiences that have helped me. Please consult a doctor before beginning any work out or exercise program... blah blah blah.

I know that everyone goes through a mind battle during a work out. Your brain is screaming "I can't do anymore!" but, the truth is you can. Your body is able.

For me and for others that struggle with anxiety, the mind battle when exercising is intensified. For one thing, anxious people experience the symptoms of fight or flight all the time without exercising: Racing heart, weak muscles, it's hard to breathe etc. so, putting our bodies through that PURPOSEFULLY is hard to get past.

Here is a summary of what I think in my head when my anxiety rears its ugly head. 

"Okay I'm gonna run. It's gonna be okay. I can do it. My mind will say I can't, but really I can." 

(See I KNOW this stuff. I really do).

"Whew, yeah, this is hard work. It's hard to breath, my muscles hurt. My heart feels like it's going to pump out of my chest. What if this is more than it should be? Am I going to give myself a heart attack? I should slow down. Oh, I am pretty far from home. What if my muscles give out? What if my heart is pounding too much and I actually give myself a heart attack. What if I collapse right here on the street? I have no phone, no ID on me. What if no one is around to find me? I could DIE right here on the street."

(Again, this is a succinct version; the battle goes back and forth for awhile)

As outrageous as I KNOW it is, the cycle of thinking doesn't stop. Before I know it, I am walking my way home to recover from my "work out" which didn't come from aerobic exercise as much as fight or flight responses that plum tucker the body out.

But no one can deny the positive effects of exercise. It is a fact that when I am in a routine of exercise, my anxiety and depression are a gazillion times better. It's just a matter of finding ways to work out that keep the overwhelming anxious thoughts at bay.

Here are a few things that work for me:

1) YouTube

I LOVE YouTube. There are endless workout videos FREE on YouTube. You can find every kind of work out style in every increment of time. Type in, "15 minute yoga" or "30 minute walking workout" or even "Bollywood dancing workout" and you'll find tons of options to choose from.

* When you are recovering from any type of breakdown, sometimes 5 minutes is all you can handle. I have been there. When starting over, there is no shame in a 5 minute walk or a ten minute beginner workout. I would search for LOW IMPACT workouts... even typing in "exercise for seniors." You gotta start somewhere. Eventually you'll work your way up!

YouTube is Free, can be done in the privacy of your home, and offers unlimited variety!

2) Use your staircase

I set up my laptop on the fifth step and turn on my favorite show. Grab a set of weights (huge 2 lbs!) and step up and down from the floor to the first step over and over and over again... alternating legs every now and then.

It's mindless movement and I am distracted by whatever is happening on the Bachellorette.

3) Dance it out

One way that I get some exercise in with my kiddos is to have a dance party. There are multiple benefits to this. You move, they move, we all giggle, and it's great one-on-one attention time for them which makes it easier for them to play on their own later so, you can get some stuff done.

What are your favorite workouts right now? Share in the comments : ) Right now I am doing mostly yoga.

Easy Pesto Pizza

The last couple weeks have been really busy. 

Have I every mentioned that I really don't like cooking. Baking... yes, I love baking, but cooking... not so much.

I barely take time to cook when our weeks are normal, let alone when we are busy.

This is one of my favorite meals for three reasons:

1. It's delicious.

2. It's super easy.

3. It's made with fresh ingredients.

Oh! and four!!

The kids love these : )

Layout out some tortillas on a baking sheet. I like to use whole wheat.

Spread on Pesto sauce. I like to use a regular pesto as well as tomato pesto. Both are delicious; I can't choose a favorite.

Add your toppings. My favorite include: black beans, navy beans, onions, tomatoes, peppers, sun dried tomatoes, cheese (especially feta!).

Bake at 350 degrees F. until the cheese is melted and edges a bit crisp.

ENJOY!

My All Natural, Truly Amazing Deodorant

A lemon.

That is all.

I'm not kidding.

It works.

Even in the hot summer. Once in a great while, I have to reapply, but I reapplied my old chemical containing, aluminum filled antiperspirant so, no difference there.

The difference is, I still sweat. Sweat is okay. Sweating is natural. Blocking our sweat?! Not natural.

I haven't tried it, but a friend of mine uses baking soda to keep dryer. Makes sense.

So, keep a "deodorant only" lemon in a container in your fridge. Cut off the tip. Hold the lemon just like a deodorant stick and apply the open end of the lemon to your pits. Then, cut off a tiny slice (which you discard) and put it back in the fridge for the next day.

Warning: Give this at LEAST a week. I promise you won't smell unbearable, but your body will go through a slight "detox" adjustment period. 

I'll never go back. I love lemons!

What ways do you naturally deodorize? Tell me in the comments. Let's share ideas with each other.

What do You Say to Someone Going Through an Anxious Episode?

Last night was a long, rough night. My almost five year old daughter was up multiple times. I could tell that each time, she woke from a deep sleep as she was confused and disoriented. The third time she woke up, she absolutely lost it. Big, ugly, sobbing, crying mess. She was beside herself and could not be consoled nor could she tell us what was the matter.

It is a helpless feeling not being able to console your child.

It can also be infuriating.

I don't handle crying kids well. It takes all of my strength to keep calm. I think because of my own anxiety and introversion crying can just be completely overstimulating to my senses. All I want to do is MAKE IT STOP!

But, because I AM that person -- the person who cries a lot and has to go through the feelings, I am able to put myself in their place and keep my emotions in check. I remind myself of the things that are helpful for me and avoid the things that are counter productive to the situation.

The most counter productive things to say to anyone going through an anxious episode are:

You're okay.

Calm down.

Stop crying.

Those of us in the midst of anxiety and emotion are completely incapable of doing so, and telling someone to stop only causes more duress and actually brings on a sense of shame for feeling emotion. Crying is a physical release for our emotion. Bottling it up will do NO good.

My amazing husband was the one that consoled Gwenyth through her episode last night. He was completely calm and prayed for her first. Then, he began to say the perfect things. As I listened from our room, I realized, that these are the very things that are what I need to hear when I am going through anxiety and panic. I know he has said these things to ME many times...

"Even though you feel very bad right now, I still love you and God loves you even more."

I don't want to generalize everyone that lives with anxiety. What works for me might not work for another, but these words work for me because:

A) They acknowledge that I am NOT okay and it is okay not to feel okay. Okay?

  - If you mean to say okay as a way to communicate safety then say, "you are safe."

B) They acknowledge that I am still loved.

  - I know my emotions are difficult. I know they can be intense. It is difficult for ME to have you see me like this. I don't want to be a bother. I feel embarrassed. Anxious people are constantly battling self doubt and worrying about what others think of us. To know we are loved unconditionally is UNBELIEVABLY reassuring.

I have friends who have also said very helpful things when I am calling out for help and prayers:

"I know you feel awful right now, but it will not last. You will come through to the other side. These feelings will not last forever."

This is helpful and encouraging, again, because it acknowledges the feelings and the struggle. They remind me that the symptoms are temporary while not being unrealistic that they will disappear instantly if I just "calm down."

From there, patience and presence is what many anxiety ridden people, like me, need. A calm presence does wonders for me. You don't even have to talk. Simply stating, "I am not leaving you" is all I need.

I think I can sum up this post like this:

What do you wish people would say to you when you are "going through it?" Or do you have helpful comments that you know have helped other people in times of high emotion? Let me know in the comments.

The Importance of Play -- DIY Play Mat Inspiration

Kids learn when they play. Play time and learning time are one in the same, not separate.

I love making things that my kids can play and imagine with. It brings me so much joy!

For Christmas, I bought my one year old niece some super cute wooden cars, and I wanted something to roll the cars on. At first I thought about simple strips of felt. I did that for my kids, but they get frustrated with those, because they slide around so much on the floor. So, I just resolved to sew them to a larger square of felt.

Well... flat is boring right?

So, I added some dimension and sort of lost myself in the fun of free form sewing. This is what I ended up with:

Then, on the other side I made an ocean scene... perfect for a whale softy I made : )

Knowing my kids dislike the road strips they currently have, I decided they needed a road mat too.

Now, I am NOT a sewer. I do my best, but I don't really care that much, especially for a project like this, about perfectly straight lines. I LOVED the free form nature of this project.

So, these are not exact instructions with measurements and patterns, but I hope it might give you some inspiration to do your own. It is SUCH FUN for all of us (me included). I just have to give up control when my almost three year old wants to put his tiger in my sheep pasture.

Start with a large piece of felt. I love felt for many reasons, but mostly because it doesn't fray; no hemming needed! With some chalk, map out the road path.

Using cloth or felt (again, felt is easier because of the no fray edges) cut out the negative spaces... those shapes that surround the road. I tacked them down with fabric glue first before sewing them down to the felt. I used cloth. So, to prevent fraying edges, I zig-zag stitched the edges. I love the way the zig-zag stitch looks.

Now, it's time to be creative and have fun adding elements and texture!

My number one recommendation is to both glue AND sew your three dimensional elements to the mat. I was so excited to let the kids start playing with the mat that I let them play when the elements were only glued down. A whole bunch of them came off. Kids can be rough! It took some time, but nothing has come off since I stitched them all on as well.

I am hoping that someday, I will add some edging. But, for real... the fact that I completed it this far is a minor miracle.

If you are looking for more AMAZING inspiration look HERE.

I Increased My Blogging Productivity with This

*Note: This post contains affiliate links, which means if you click on the link and purchase something, I may make a small commission at no cost to you. Thank you for supporting Little Things, Love... and Reality.

This will probably be the last post I ever do on advice for other bloggers. There are SO many amazing bloggers out there who are completely dedicated to helping others grow and improve their blog.

But you guys! This little tool is life changing for me.

Believe it or not, there are times during my day when my kids are getting along beautifully and fully engaged with playing with each other. It is almost magical, and I sit and watch them and think, "holy cow! I am blessed."

Then, after a few minutes, I find myself twiddling my thumbs feeling like I am wasting my life.

Yea... yea... yea... dishes, laundry, cleaning, etc. etc. etc. Whatever, that can wait.

Well, you're probably thinking, "go write a blog post," and I would say, "great idea!"

Then, I would go upstairs to grab my big ole laptop AND the chord. I would plug in said laptop, because it no longer has any battery life. (I know I could buy a new battery, but I have a large laptop -- for photography and design.) Then, I would wait for it to boot up... even out of hibernate, it takes a few minutes to pick up the wifi and get my web browser up.

I guarantee then, as soon as I start typing, the kids will say they wanna play outside.

Well, I guess I can network on my Kindle Fire while they play outside. I love the mobility and touch screen of the Kindle Fire, but commenting on blog posts is a big pain when using a touch screen.

I was fast realizing I wanted something that was in between my Kindle Fire and my full laptop. I wanted something super portable with awesome battery life that I can pretty much just use for blogging and networking... and watching some Netflix (let's be real). Plus, it needs to be affordable.

I first looked at tablets, but the good ones were out of my price range, and I really wasn't sold on having to buy the keyboard separately. My conclusion, I wanted like a "mini laptop," without all the software programs.

So... Ta Da!

Behold the Chromebook : )

Here is the one I got.

I LOVE that the keyboard is attached AND it is a touch screen. Like right now... I just touched save on my screen and didn't have to use my touch pad. I love touching the screen to scroll and then jumping immediately to a fully functional keyboard.

Right now, my kids are building with blocks, and I am almost done with a post!

So, bloggers or writers of any sort, think about one of these if you are longing for efficiency in your life!

We are Done Sharing -- How Taking Turns has Changed our Family

NOTE: This post contains affiliate links. If you click on and purchase something using these links, I may make a small commission at no cost to you. Thank you for supporting Little Things, Love... and Reality!

A couple months ago, I was beyond frustrated with my kiddos, because I felt like I was spending the majority of my day refereeing fights. As soon as I would start a task of any sort, I would be interrupted by screaming or crying from one kid or the other.

So, I stopped my task in order to get them through the conflict. 

To my credit, MOST of the time, I remained calm and worked with them to resolve the it.

But, seriously, if you could only get one bowl washed before a new fight began, anyone would tend to lose their cool, right?! 

I'm human.

It even got to the point that I would just ignore it and tell them to "work it out." Guess what?! Many times, after a few minutes of screaming and pushing and throwing, they eventually worked it out... or big sis just bossed her way to the "solution." Whatever. They were quiet, and I could finish the dishes.

Well, when you start ignoring your kids, there's a problem. 

So, as usual, I researched solutions on how to raise siblings who will be civil to each other and maybe even like each other someday.

I was attracted to Peaceful Parents, Happy Siblings by Dr. Laura Markham because the description boasted about "self regulated sharing." SWEET! I thought, that means leave them alone to figure things out. Seriously. I thought that. I was excited for validation on leaving them be to fight it out.

You can probably guess, that's not really what self regulated means. *Sigh*

I appreciate this book for a few main reasons.

1) It uses the word "coaching" as the way to get kids through conflict. 

Coaching resonates with me. I am a coach at heart. I coached dance for several years. I love drawing the best out of people. When I think of my time spent helping to resolve conflict as coaching (rather than refereeing), it gives me a ton more motivation and patience to stick with it.

2) It reinforced what I am already doing is good and really DOES take that much time.

About a year or so ago, I went to a parenting seminar. The biggest lesson I took from it was that I need to RUTHLESSLY CONTROL MY EMOTIONS. If I can model calm so will my children. I'm human; I lose it sometimes, but concentration on MY emotions has made me a better parent for sure! This book teaches the same kind of principles. Plus, stresses the amount of time it truly takes. There WILL be plenty of days that dishes don't get done, blog posts don't get written, or I can't watch Fuller House (admit it, you love it too), because that time will be spent coaching your children through conflict.

3) It has changed the way we "share" in our home.

Dr. Markham gives plenty of great background and research to support that kids don't really get the concept of "sharing" when it comes to kids personal possessions. She also explains how forced sharing (for example setting timers to determine the length of a turn, or just flat out taking a toy away to give it to another child) is not teaching kids joyful giving. 

Plus, when we force one child to give up a toy because another child is crying (which is a big trigger for me), we are actually teaching the crying child that crying enough or throwing a fit will get them what they want! Duh... why did that not occur to me?!

So, some changes were made in our home.

Now instead of sharing, we stress taking turns. Rules about taking turns are:

1) The person who gets the toy first decides how long their turn is, but turns can not last over night.

2) When friends are over, we take short turns so that everyone can enjoy the toys.

3) If you don't want anyone else to play with your toy, you need to put it in a special place. (Right now, Gwenyth has a special Lego truck she built in her play kitchen freezer) : )

The first three days implementing this sharing strategy were well... REALLY effing HARD. I got nothing done. It was pretty constant coaching, but I remained steadfast and patient. I know it's a big change for them. 

Reuben had the worst time, because he was crushed when I wouldn't convince Gwenyth to give him the toys or set a timer. That meant lots of crying (which is so hard for me to endure), but he learned fairly fast that no amount of crying or yelling would get him the toy faster.

Since those first few days, things have improved drastically! When there is conflict over toy sharing, now it takes a simple reminder of the rules which I can do from the sink (or computer or TV). It's gratifying to watch them take turns and hear them say, "here you go, Reuben" or "you can have it now, Sister" instead of them throwing the toys at each other when the timer goes off or I suggest having "compassion."

I'd confidently say that my "coaching time" has gone down by 40%. I didn't realize that sharing was such an issue until it wasn't an issue!

But, now I'm dealing with the reality of other parents in a culture where we seem super hyper sensitive to sharing. I know that I am prone to rip a toy out of my childrens' hands in the name of sharing with other kids. It's what every good parent wants their child to do, but it's all very forced most of the time.

I am thankful for one playgroup that was open to the suggestion of these rules for our play group. However, there are plenty of other times with other families that I have caught myself reverting to forced sharing. Who wants to be the parent to suggest "what I'm doing is better than what you're doing..." ? Do you know what I mean?

I try to find opportunity to model it when their child has the toy and my child wants it. I simply say to my child, "they had the toy first, and they get to decide how long their turn is" in hopes that the other parent will understand my reasoning for not forcing my child to give up a toy to theirs.

What do you do in situations like that? When parenting strategies differ? It's hard for this momma who hates any kind of conflict and fears judgement. I know I'm not alone : )

When You're a Mom and You need to Get Stuff Done...

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Get some watercolor (cake form) paints that are a little bit better quality than the really cheapo brand.

Like these:

or these:

The cheap brands work, but the color is very transparent and faint which might not even matter to your kids. Because painting on a window is such a new and exciting thing!

Set out the watercolors, a water container, and some brushes (soft, nylon or acrylic) like these:

 

And let them paint!

The beauty of the watercolors is it wipes of the window like a breeze!

I will warn that it does stain wood window sills... especially if they are painted white. This is my studio so, I really don't care. You could mask off the edges of the windows with some painters tape. If you have vinyl windows, I would think it would clean up well.

This is a fun activity that has allowed me some time to actually WORK in my studio while home with alone with the kids.

Living with Anxiety -- My Nutritional Supplement Routine

*NOTE: This post contains affiliate links, but I will never link you to anything I don't trust and use myself. If you click and make a purchase using one of these links, I may make a small commission at no extra charge to you. Thanks for supporting Little Things, Love... and Reality.

*AND: I am not a doctor. Please don't take this as medical advice, but simply a personal experience resource.

When I decided to go off my meds the last time, I was taking a ridiculous amount of supplements:

B12 - for mood and balance

Magnesium - which I have read has helped many people with anxiety

Iodine (kelp) - for energy and good thyroid function

Selenium - need to take when taking Iodine

Maca Root - supposed to be amazing at balancing hormones

Holy Basil - for anxiety related symptoms

Cod Liver Oil - for hormone balance

and a Probiotic - for gut health

I felt no significant change taking any of them. As you've read, I actually just continued to worsen.

Not only was taking all of these annoying, it was flippin' EXPENSIVE.

Since going back on my meds (Sertraline and Hormonal birth control), I have simplified my supplement routine immensely.

I take my two above mentioned pharmaceutical pills at night before bed.

After lunch I take:

I like this one because it contains specifically B vitamins, Magnesium, Selenium, and Iodine. There aren't many multi-vitamins that contain Iodine, which I've done lots of research on. It's VERY important, and I do believe Americans are deficient. That's a whole other blog post.

I know that birth control saps many nutrients from my body, so, this is a small step to replenish.

And

I firmly believe that gut health is crucial for health. I believe gut health directly affects my anxiety, depression, and hormonal issues. I've always had frequent, persistent heartburn and plenty of *ahem* bowel issues. 

I have taken some type of probiotic for years now, even when I was on the anxiety meds before. But, honestly, I never really felt any of the benefits. I just trusted it was helping.

Within the last few months, I read about the fact that persistent heart burn and bowel issues actually stem from too little stomach acid. I had always thought heart burn was from too much! 

So, about three months ago, I started the Super Enzymes. FINALLY, I have felt a difference in my gut! I still get occasional heart burn, but it subsides with a shot of Apple Cider Vinegar. 

I no longer have any antacids or heart burn medication in my house! That's kind of a miracle.

This routine of meds and supplements is simple and minimal, and I can bring myself to take all of them even on bad days. When I had bad days using all the other supplements and essential oils, it felt overwhelming, and I just wouldn't care to do it. 

How about you? Have you ever felt whelmed by all of the supplement options out there? Are there any supplements you can't be without? I know we should technically just be getting our nutrients from good food, but reality is it just doesn't happen that way for me. 

A Simple, Kid Friendly Block Building Game

*Note: this post contains affiliate links, which means that if you click on the link and purchase something I may make a small commission; thank you for supporting my blog!*

First off, my husband is a gaming genius, and I don't mean computer games. He makes up his own games. Active games, board games, math games, and now a block building game. What amazes me is that he comes up with them quickly, and they are always super fun! 

This game is alternative to the regular rules of the classic game Jenga, but you could really do this game with any sort of building blocks!

Second... my floors are gross. Someday, we will re-finish them. But, right now we have toddlers. Everyone knows you can't have nice things with toddlers in the house. #reallife.

On with the game:

1. Roll the die. The number that appears on the die is how many blocks you get on your turn.

So... Gwenny gets six blocks.

2. Start building or add onto the tower. 

If you are playing with kids, you can be nice and try to get the tower as high as possible.

This is a great way for tots and kids to practice counting, fine motor skills, and team work.

HOWEVER, if you are playing with adults, you can be tricky...

Tilt blocks or try to make things unbalanced...because

3. IF YOU KNOCK DOWN THE TOWER, YOU LOSE.

Simple. Fun. Brilliant.

My two and four year old love it.

Have fun!