Who Takes Care of the Mom?

Ten days ago, I cam down with a nasty cold/flu virus. It hit me like a truck. I still don't feel normal; I feel pretty exhausted and am still coughing up gross things from my lungs. 

Easter week was long and trying for our family. Not only did I get sick, but so did my son and daughter. 

Praise God, my husband did not, because it turns out, when you work at a church (leading worship), Easter week is kind of a big deal.

My husband was a rock star, in my opinion, as he spent every spare moment he wasn't preparing for Holy week services caring for the kids and the house. 

I have amazing friends and family that stepped up and took care of my kids on the days I could not get out of bed and Mike had to be at work.

I should have felt incredibly blessed to be able to quietly recover whilst watching my favorite shows.

So, why was I so pissy?! 

I know everyone gets cranky when they are sick, but there was something really stirring in me that I couldn't put my finger on for a few days. 

First I explained away my frustration to grief, which is actually very legitimate. I miss my Mom a lot. 
Everyone wants their mom when they are sick. Mom is the care taker. Mom knows what to do.

Sad as I am that my Mom isn't here anymore, I have plenty of people to help me out. 

The thing is, since becoming a mom myself, I am realizing that when people help me out... it's usually in regard to taking care of the kids. Someone to take care of their basic needs when I can not. 

But then... who takes care of me?

Who takes care of the Mom when the Mom can't take care of herself?

It took all my strength to get myself to the bathroom, let alone keep me on a medicine schedule, diffuse some oils for me, or make myself something nutritious to eat. I was determined to keep hydrated so I wouldn't have to get an IV like I did a couple years ago, but I am pretty convinced that had I had someone to take care of me, I would have recovered far faster. 

Here's the thing, I have people that would've helped me. I positive of it.

I came up with excuses for not asking for help: I don't want to expose people and get them sick... they have already done so much... they have Easter gatherings to get ready for... etc. 

But, after really examining myself, I realized for some reason, I believe the lie that I am an inconvenience. 

I have a fear of coming across as needy.

What is incredibly frustrating, is that I have NO IDEA where this stems from. It's not how I was raised. It's not because people have ever expressed that I am needy or an inconvenience.

I think it's simply that we live in a busy society that glorifies strength and independence. 

I'm not saying those are bad traits, but I don't think we were designed to live that way. In fact, we should be totally dependent... on God. He designed us for relationship, with him first and foremost, but also with people around us.

Dependence on each other is a beautiful picture of heaven!

I am realizing that I wasn't being humble by not asking for help. I was being prideful. And I was missing out on a little slice of heaven. 

What really irritates me is that I would LOVE it if a friend or family member asked me for help. I would do as much as I could to help them. Why do we have such a hard time accepting the help ourselves?

Why is it so hard?! I know I'm not the only one who struggles with asking for help. Tell me about your struggles and solutions in the comments.


  1. Oh my goodness, I can absolutely relate to this post so much. I never want to be needy or an inconvenience to anyone else, so I just say I'm fine and try to soldier on as best I can. Why do we do that to ourselves? It's silly when you think about it, but it makes me physically anxious to ask anybody for help. Sigh. I feel ya, girl, it's hard. And I really hope you're feeling better! :)

    1. Yes, Mia... I feel that physical anxiety too, which is probably another reason to avoid asking (we just simply don't want to feel those symptoms). It is just so hard. I am feeling better! Thanks : )

  2. If it makes you feel better, needy is the last word I would use to describe you, but I completely resonate with this post. We're so busy being strong for our family and taking care of them that it's hard to turn that around when we're the one needing help.

    1. Awe. Thank you, Karin! Yes... it's like superhero mode. Once you are in that mode, it is really hard to stop.

  3. You probably get much of this from your dad, who feels the same way and, for some reason, still does. So the next time you need help ask your dad. That way your not only helping yourself, you are helping your dad. LOVE YOU! Now if I can only do the same!!

    1. I know you are one to call on! AND the opposite is true too -- you call me for help too!