I told you about my "word for the year" in my previous post -- Surrender. When I was mulling over this word, it was mostly in regards to world events.
However, I am finding that I am actually MOSTLY needing to surrender the little things that happen in my daily life.
See that mess of pistachio shells. I desperately, DESPERATELY want to clean it up.
Cleanliness is something I can control.
Control eases my anxiety.
It took all of my strength to sit and eat breakfast with that pile of shells sitting there. But breakfast (mostly likely the meal we eat at the table all together for the day), is sacred. I don't need to be cleaning up. I want to enjoy conversation with my family.
After eating, my daughter picks up a shell and asks "what can we make out of these?" She is SO creative. She LOVES to take junk and make it into something. This is one of her most common questions.
You would think that as an artist myself, I would be all about the messes and the freedom to express creativity.
You would be wrong.
I am probably the cleanest, tidiest artist you've ever met.
So, when Gwenyth gets into creative mode, I cringe.
Now, she is seeing beyond the shell and making little bugs... each with a personality and story all it's own.
She is building fine motor skills coloring on those tiny shells.
My husband joins in and they start making a colony of bugs. A colony of bugs needs a queen. A colony of bugs needs workers. The queen bug lays eggs which hatch into larva. What can we use for larva? Macaroni, of course.
Are you kidding me? My husband just turned this into a school lesson! Whoa. He's amazing.
Now, they are making plans and rules to make a game out of the bug colony. A game which, I'm sure, will involve strategy and numbers and all kinds of good things for learning. A game which needs lots of pieces which will be more easily made in an assembly line. Whuuut?!
I wish I could tell you that I am completely at peace and my skin isn't crawling at how the little shells have now completely taken over the table AND they are "flaking" into minute little crumbs. I wish I could tell you that I am not chomping at the bit to consolidate all the markers back into their container.
I am simply making the choice to encourage the creativity rather than take control for my own sake.